Girl power!
Power — who has it and how it’s expressed — is one of the more fascinating aspects of culture.
A couple years back, when I was facilitating a workshop in Vanuatu, I got a taste of what happens when two cultures, each with a different perspective on power, meet up.
The first order of the day was getting the group to come up with our “training norms” (there’s that word again).
“So, let’s talk about how we can best work together,” I said, “Who’d like to start?”
And that’s when it happened. Or, rather, that’s when nothing happened.
Nothing — as in complete and total silence.
No worries, I thought to myself, they just need time to warm up. I tried re-phrasing. “How about if we agree to turn off our cell phones? What do you say?”
Still no response.
These Boots Were Made for Walking
So, what do you do when you’ve got a roomful of people staring silently at you?
You walk.
No, I didn’t walk out (not that I didn’t want to). Instead, I slowly walked the length of the room, from the easel where I’d planned to take notes, all the way to the other end of the room.
And back again.
It went on like this for a bit, with me pacing the length of the room, trying to look nonchalant and unruffled by the silence, while the group of Fijians, Tongans, Samoans and folks from Kiribati watched.
It was like the catwalk from hell.
Hail to the Chief
It was only later during the coffee break that I got the scoop from Fetu, one of the Samoans in the group.
“Great session,” he said, “Everybody’s talking about it.”
It was true. All around the break room, people were chatting and smiling and having a grand old time.
Which left me even more puzzled.
“Here’s the thing I can’t figure out,” I said, “Why didn’t anyone say anything before? I mean, everybody’s talking now.”
“Oh, that’s just our way. We prefer to talk one-to-one. Besides, no one was going to speak up with me in the room. I’m a chief after all.”
“Yes. I know you’re in charge of the program back home,” I said.
“No, I mean I’m the chief in our village. And in Samoa, you can’t say anything until the chief does.”
“Okay, but we’re at a conference in Vanuatu.”
“Right. But you see that guy over there? He’s in my tribe. And he also works for me.”
Keeping the Big Cheese Happy
So, that was it: While I was hell-bent on getting individuals to respond, the group was focused on something else entirely — making the boss look good. More to the point, nobody wanted to upstage the head honcho, in this case, their chief.
So they just kept quiet.
Culture. It’s pretty powerful, isn’t it?
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That’s really interesting and it makes me laugh…lol…because I would have had the same thought process. As Americans, I think we’re constantly looking for approval and I have no idea how other cultures act so nonchalant about things…I need to take lessons in this. I’m glad that you were able to see that your presentation was appreciated in the end and I really enjoy hearing about these little differences in our manner of addressing one another…very cool.
Chantilly Patiño (@biculturalmom) recently posted..#MixedVida Spotlight: Jonathan A. Barrera Mikulich, Latino Branding Power
Hola Chantilly! Thanks for stopping by. Yes, I think it’s all about taking off our own cultural blinders. It even extends to the way we label other people’s behavior. An American might say the Pacific Islanders were acting “nonchalant” but they might describe their behavior as “attentive”. It just depends on the cultural lens you’re using. Ever noticed anything similar in your interactions with people from different cultures and countries within the Latino community?
Yup, sure felt like that, Jase, although I’m sure I didn’t look like a super model.
Glad you enjoyed this post and hearing about my experiences as a trainer for intercultural groups. Where are you off to next?
Justine Ickes recently posted..Four Free Ways to Learn a Foreign Language
Catwalk from hell! How perfect! As someone poised to (or, at least, hoping to) follow in your footsteps on the worldwide training front, I enjoyed this post immensely. It’s so great to learn from you while having a good chuckle at the same time! All the best from ColloLand, Jase
Hey Linda, thanks for stopping by. I don’t think I asked the chief that question directly, i.e. about how to more effectively communicate with the group because, if memory serves me, he and everyone else seemed to think the session went just fine. That is, culturally, the group was much more comfortable with the silence. In fact, I don’t think they even really perceived that anything was “wrong”. Rather, this was their normal way of communicating in a group when the chief is present. Coming from the U.S. where the communication style is more vocal, direct and individualistic, it was really me who was uncomfortable with the silence and what felt like a “communication fail”. I suppose I could have asked the group directly but I suspect they wouldn’t have told me. “Face saving”, or not wanting to embarrass oneself or make another person feel ill-at-ease, is a strong value in many cultures. Bottom line: Being aware is key because you never know what cultural values will come into play.
Justine! Great post…I think we’ve all encountered cultural challenges like you outline here, even if not quite as dramatic. I’m wondering if you asked the Chief about how you could have worked more effectively with the group – should you have addressed the silence directly, asking why no one was participating? Or are the indications that the group would still have remained silent? Consciousness raising! thanks.